‘My mom is trying to trick me into signing on to her new mortgage.’ UPDATED

March 21, 2024

4 minutes read

My mom is still pressuring me to add me as a third person on her new $820k mortgage. I really don’t want to as my husband and I are looking to buy our own home. She states doing this will build my credit for a new mortgage down the line

My (25f) mother (60f) and her boyfriend (60f), had a house in Ottawa which was a nice home. She’s always hated the home for reasons I think could have easily been renovated example: new shower tiles, new doors, or adding basic finishes to the basement. It was a new build at the time.

I as well as the mortgage advisor advised against it given that the new home she wanted went for $820k and she still had quite a-lot left on her mortgage. In the end, the bank pre approved her and her boyfriend for $500k with the knowledge that the rest of the fees will be covered using the profit from her old home.

Fast forward to now, she keeps asking me to come on as a third person given that with my good job and with a salary of over $65k, the pre approval amount will be higher. The issue is I am now married and my husband and I are also saving up to buy a home in the next few years.

She dismissed it and said doing this with her will build my credit and when im ready to buy a home the bank will approve me and she will definitely co-sign with us (is this a thing?).. because she went and told her mortgage advisor that im interested but I don’t think she gave her the details.

Not only that, I’m pregnant and will be going on maternity leave which means that it’s not the time to think about things like this because I will technically be on employment insurance which is exactly why my husband and I are waiting until I get back to work and he gains more seniority in his work.

Im at a loss on what to do because my mom has screwed me over for small amounts of money so that alone i don’t trust. But it’s the fact she’s already telling the mortgage advisor I want in and she’s disregarding the fact that I’m married with her own grand kid on the way.. however, she did state doing this will build my credit and it will be easier to qualify for a new mortgage down the line with my husband.

What do you think she should do? This is what top commenters had to say:

yycsoftwaredev said:

“She dismissed it and said doing this with her will build my credit and when im ready to buy a home the bank will approve me” No, the bank will see you as having a massive liability. This will make it much harder as in the eyes of the bank, you will already be on the hook for a mortgage.

North-Week-9741 said:

First of all, do not feel bad nor obligated to explain your situation. You can contact the mortgage advisor yourself and respectfully decline & reiterate what boundaries you have with your family. Lastly, assuming this is your first home, you will lose the first time home buyers incentive when you purchase with your husband.

hehethrowaway90 said:

Ya no. Don’t. Please for the love of god.

popsicile said:

You’ll lose your advantage as a first time home buyer when it comes time to buy your own house. It’s very selfish of her to expect you to do this.

kinemed said:

Absolutely do not do this. It will make it harder for you to get a mortgage later, as it will be considered your debt. You will be responsible for the mortgage if she doesn’t pay it. When you go to get your own mortgage, her co-signing will be useless because she will also already have a mortgage which will be considered.

She needs to buy something within her means. If she is relying on your income to be approved for a higher amount, it is not within her means.

A week later, she shared this update:

Last week I posted what my mother was trying to do which was have me co-sign her mortgage. Many people have asked for an update. Unfortunately I’m not allowed to post the link to the last post on here.

Yesterday, I spoke with the mortgage advisor who not only admitted that my mom was a difficult client as she was trying to do the impossible by getting this mortgage but he also revealed that the reason she needed me to co-sign the mortgage was because she did not want to listen to his recommendation which was to return the car she had leased,

on which the maturity date is almost due and to not finance a new car until she gets her mortgage funded (2 months max) This is to ensure she does not have too much debt and that her pre-approval amount stays the same.

Instead of doing that, she wanted me on the mortgage so she can increase the funding approval rate AND get a new car financed. My husband and I were disgusted and shocked. The mortgage advisor was very honest and stated that if I get in on this it will significantly reduce my borrowing power and I will be on the hook for years.

He even joked and asked “would you like to stay stuck renting with the inability to borrow and a huge dip on your credit while she drives the newest fancy cars and lives in a big home?”. He told us not to do it and think of our future (we’re expecting a baby in the fall).

To cut it short, most of you were right, she had no intention of helping me in the long run and it was only to satisfy her needs while having no issues leaving my husband and baby and i on the hook for almost $1m. I have confronted my mom who has yet to answer my texts and my husband has suggested that we cut contact with her.